novaslim's Blog

The road to Good Intentions is paved with Hell.

The "good" news is, there's a segment of black women out there that don't mind being referred to as "nappy-headed hoes" and receiving compensation for it. So much for activists and community leaders telling us when, where and how to be offended.

Over the past couple of weeks dos muy interesantes pieces of information surfaced that, if you acknowledge gray areas like I do, should knock down that steel resolve when it comes to matters of conduct and context. And here I am thinking I had it all figured out.

Here is where things get a little dicey:

[Attorney Martin] Garbus cited a contract clause where CBS acknowledged that Imus’ services were “unique, extraordinary, irreverent, intellectual, topical, controversial.” The clause said Imus’s programming was “desired by company and … consistent with company rules and policy,” said Garbus, whose clients have run from comic Lenny Bruce to filmmaker Spike Lee. - Hollywood Today

No worries, I'll ask it before you put it in the comments: "Does 'controversial' mean sexist and racist?"

No, I have not just caught on to Amy Winehouse since I've probably been listening to Back to Black before I was legally supposed to. It's just that sometimes it's difficult to write about "good music" for the sake of good music.

Had I known she was such a mess, I'd have said something sooner.

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No shade, no slight. I just adore the fact that someone with so much critical acclaim and talent puts her messiness on display for the entire world. I mean, she has earned a reputation as a raging, upchucking, unapologetic drunk! This is more than great; this is when I fall ass-over-tit in love.

While it's not my custom to perpetuate racial stereotypes (lie), I just want to say that me and my familiars have suffered worse tongue-lashings from our parents growing up in the "'hood". Look how great I turned out! Point-by-point, I'm going to dissect the Alec Baldwin voicemail to prove why you people are a bunch of judgemental, overly-sensitive pussies, no doubt with a bunch of bad-ass kids running around:

• He doesn't know if Ireland is 11 or 12. AND? My mother, God bless her, frequently calls me by my sister's name. Do I look like an "Aquanetta" to you?
• He's gonna straighten her ass out when he sees her. Big whoop. That's a lot better than being "torn a new one", or having the "Earth brought down upon me", or being forced to "watch my eyebrows grow back."
• He calls the mother of his child a thougtless pain in the ass, instead of a coke-snorting, gutterbutt floozy. Ireland should be proud.
• He called his daughter a rude thoughtless little pig. "Pigg" is my nickname. Again, I don't see what the issue is. Don't you people have shit else better to do? Like, letting the television babysit your kids or not telling your child he's the reason Mommy and Daddy drink so much? Be creative.

Besides, for all you people out there calling Mr. Baldwin a bad parent, aren't you happy this phonecall was leaked instead of that rumored Pat Sajak fisting video?