Famester Blog: J. Harvey

I want to be your friend aka I am not a snotty bitch.

J. Harvey — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 17:59:58 -0400

Yo! I want to add everyone to my friends who has added me to theirs. But that message only pops up when you log on and then disappears! if you added me, hit me up with a message or a reply to this so I know. Shranks!

Top Ten Reasons Why "Grindhouse" Is The Hotness. Warning - spoilers!

J. Harvey — Sun, 15 Apr 2007 22:21:49 -0400

1. There's a stripper with a machine gun for a leg -

I previously found two things fascinating about Rose McGowan. She used to let Marilyn Manson inside of her, and her eye has been droopy since a car accident (though I was convinced it was bad plastic surgery) awhile back. Rose has now managed to divert my attention from those two facts because she plays an exotic dancer (not a very good one) with a machine gun for a leg. Tremendous.

2. Texas used to be the state that scared me because I was convinced it was full of religious fanatics in cults, merciless patches of desert, roving cannibal families, and was big enough to secede possibly conquer the rest of the U.S. Now it's hot -

This movie made Texas look hot. It made Texas look like it had hot chicks, in short shorts, drinking and dancing. Driving around, looking for weed. It made me believe that there are hot bars in Texas with really good jukeboxes. And that it was full of people brave enough to stand up to grotesque zombies. Now I want to visit Austin.

3. Quentin Tarantino isn't as annoying via cameo per usual -

I like Tarantino. I think he's a talented guy with a vast encyclopediac knowledge of messed-up forgotten cinema. Behind the camera. When he's on the screen, there's something jarring about him - like a guy who wasn't meant to make cameos in his own films. It's like suddenly seeing your brother up there, if your brother was a sheet metal worker by trade. He just doesn't fit. Anyway, he's ok in this. Maybe it's because everyone looks cartoony because "Planet Terror" is a zombie flick. He isn't around long and his penis is melting. Good work, Rodriguez.

Jake Gyllenhaal, which way do you swing?

J. Harvey — Sat, 14 Apr 2007 12:13:41 -0400

Now, I'm not one of those queers that needs every famous guy to be gay so I can justify my existence. But Gyllenhaal fascinates me. Between quiet dinners for two with Austin Nichols and all that time he spent with Kiki - I'm totally confused. Is he letting Lance Armstrong aid in adjusting his spandex or is he making time with bossy moo Reese Witherspoon? For some reason, the topic of this guy's sexual determination fascinates me. I think it's because he's so inscrutable. Why lies behind those sorta blank puppy dog eyes? He's an enigma, wrapped in a conundrum, and laid out on my brain. Anyway, I created a poll. What do you bitches think?

I didn't land on Famesters, Famesters landed on me!

J. Harvey — Sat, 14 Apr 2007 12:04:42 -0400

J. Harvey here. Most of my venom and vitriol goes into A Socialite's Life. So I thought I'd do a sweet post about the wonder of living, and the warm bonds of friendship that occur between us like some beautiful chain.

.....

uh.

*crickets*

Wow, I've been writing snark for so long that I can't actually write anything nice. Wait, I know one - I don't hate Kiki Dunst as much as everyone else does. I just wish she'd stop smoking so much ganja because I think it affects what she's wearing out of the house. But I don't hate her.

There! *pleased*

Famester Blog: J. Harvey

I want to be your friend aka I am not a snotty bitch.

Top Ten Reasons Why "Grindhouse" Is The Hotness. *Warning - spoilers*!

Jake Gyllenhaal, which way do you swing?

I didn't land on Famesters, Famesters landed on me!

Top Ten Reasons Why "Grindhouse" Is The Hotness. Warning - spoilers!