Dear LiLo,

Look, I like you, I think you have potential, I feel a need to stick by you because you are a fellow redhead and a fellow NYer, but for fuck's sake STOP DRIVING. Look, you have alot of money, get a driver, will ya? Two DUI's in 3 months is a little excessive, don't you think?

We have had a few interactions out and about in LA and NYC and I like you, I really do. I think you are a very sweet person, you are funny, you made me laugh, but please, knock it off. Seriously, stop crashing cars, lay off the blow and go back to your red hair. You are only 21 and as an older and wiser (not by much) redhead, I feel a need to give you this advice.

Give me a call,
*Red

PS. I'll overlook the fact that you hit one of my best friends in the head with a hanger in A&F, that was so long ago, we can get over that.