OK, I really need someone else to read this. I felt like I was on some sort of reality show. Lets hit up some back story.

Start: 4 of us girls got dressed up and went to this socialit-esque event in the city. I have never seen so much silicone in my life. One of my friends gets discovered, literally. Let me set this straight. In this city everyone knows each other. They have all lived here since high school (except me of course) and where you went to high school dominates the social circle you run in years and years later (sic). So of course we run into a lot of people they all went to high school with, some I know some I don't. I meet this guy who is pretty attractive, has a hell of an ego and keeps up decent conversation, a complete phenomena in this group. SO he gets my number, turns out he dated a friend of a friend for like 2 years, and I get some dirt on the situation. Apparently he is worth around a million and can be quite pushy. Honestly, I love a good ego and while I couldn't care less about how much money he has, but it speaks volumes that he is so successful at such a young age.

Jump to Sunday night, I have a charity concert, he calls me 3 times while there. I don't answer, it would be impolite. But I call him back when I leave, thinking wow this guy digs me already? I decide hanging out on sunday night would be nice a casual. He picks me up in his Mercedes CLK (gag) and we are off. He tries 2 restaurants that are so that circle of people, little ethnic places with great atmospheres that in all reality probably have great food, but are so ridiculously over-priced simply to make them seem that much more exclusive (please this is the midwest, there is no such thing as exclusive). Finally we go to this Spanish tapas place for a few drinks. He proceeds to make great conversation and orders me a mojito simply because I said I had never tried one. He drinks Grey Goose. On the Rocks...yeah, first sign, the second being the conversation we had about how well he can hold his alcohol because he goes out 7 days a week. YIKES!

So I have 2 gin and tonics and we head home. I invite him in for a glass of water before he heads out, seeing as it is about midnight on a Sunday, I am turning into a pumpkin soon. He decides he will have another vodka. So I acquiesce and make another G&T. After this drink I let him become VERY aware that he is over-stepping his bounds and I need some sleep. He is where the hilarity ensues.

All of sudden the man who can hold his liquor becomes absolutely wasted. He suddenly can't stand, can't hold a conversation, and (gasp) there is no way he should be driving home. I almost laughed out loud at this acting job. He was stone cold sober 10 minutes ago, but now can't even stand up and is running into my walls. Seriously. So I get him water and crackers and let him know he is perfectly welcome to sleep on my couch. Even my dog is sitting around watching this. He goes on and on about how no he will just sleep in bed with me. I said fine, sleep in my bed, I will sleep on the couch. This goes on for about an hour, arguing back and forth.

I am pretty stubborn, I am NOT giving in on this one. Creepy!! So I lay down on my couch in my jeans and everything and try to sleep. It is now about 2 am and I have to be up in 5 hours for work. He proceeds to remove his clothes and crawl into my bed, by himself. He is wearing what I refer to as MANTIES. In my bed. I am so washing those sheets.

So I wake up at 7 confused as all hell. I think it is Sunday again. Nope I go in my room to start getting ready only to find this man sound asleep with my dog just glaring at him (she likes to cuddle with me in the mornings and obviously this weirdo is totally F-ing with that). I seriously just cracked up laughing, which woke him up. He says, "morning baby" casual as anything, like this is completely a normal occurence for the both of us. SO I try to kick him out again. No luck. He starts talking about how much he likes me, and asking if I like him to.

I will tell you the same thing I told him. That he should move to LA and try acting, because last night was quite the performance. And no I don't think I would like a man who either lies about being drunk to take advantage of my kindness (read: try to get in my pants), or a man who gets that wasted on a first date. And kindly do not call me again, in fact please lose my number.

He says, yeah I think you are too stubborn for me. And he doesn't think we can date.

WOW.