Yeah, you read it right….I’m not sure more than 3 of the final 10 are ready for Late Night TV, much less Prime Time. The show last night was pretty much crappy, if not totally buggered from front to back with bad, clichéd and unprofessional performances.

I hope next week is better, but hope is about all I have to go on. I have decided to evaluate each act based on Professionalism, Basic Performance and Look. I am ranking them from 1st (Best) to 10th (Worst). Here we go:

1) Cas Haley – Cas is without a doubt the best musician on the show and his take on the blues was darn good, however, I really prefer the stripped down reggae/ska type thing that he was doing early in the season with just him and his guitar. He will make it through this week, but really, I’m not sure he can win.
2) Terry Fator – The dude is a talented ventriloquist ….Piers said he is the best ventriloquist he’s ever seen, but I mean, has the guy seen Paul Winchell, Señor Wences or Willie Tyler? I mean really, the guy is a great singer, but he doesn’t tell jokes so it really kind of kills the whole ventriloquism gimmick. I don’t know, I hope he does something funny, puppets shouldn’t make you cry….
3) Butterscotch – Okay, I have to be honest here, I really don’t like any bit of the beatbox crap she’s bringing, and I don’t like the hybrid sing/beatbox thing and while the judges think that’s innovative, it really isn’t very good singing or beatboxing. Her normal singing voice is good enough, but I would like to see her go back to using musical instruments in her act. The song itself she did was okay, but I am still waiting for something that will make me say….hmmm. Her wonky tooth bothers me too.
4) Calypso Tumblers – This is where things started going downhill for me. The Calypsos are decent street performers and did some amazing crap, but this kind of act doesn’t work for me if they don’t tell some kind of story. They ranked this high because everyone else was that bad.
5) The Duttons – Seriously, this family had absolutely cemented their first contract at the Glen Campbell theater in Branson, MO already (I can see it now on the marquis…TV’s The Duttons), but their candy coated brand of downhome music does absolutely nothing for me other than it’s executed remarkably well. They are good musicians, but the saccharine in their act annoys the hell out of me.
6) The Glamazons – Look, I’ve got nothing against plus sized women doing it for themselves, but honestly, outside of chutzpah, these girls have nothing. They can’t dance and their singing is questionable at best. You can’t complain about their harmonies, because they don’t do them. They will be around for a couple of weeks, but they are short on material and talent, so they will be out soon.
7) Julienne Irwin – Okay, cute girl, nice voice I guess, but she needs vocal training. She had awful pitch problems and the song she sang dragged. I almost changed the channel to “Just for Laughs”. She will stick around because of the Tween vote, but it’s a shame because she really doesn’t belong in the top 10, but then again neither do the 3 below her nor the Glamazons.
8) Robert Hatcher – Okay, I’m honestly a sucker mark for this guy’s backstory and he’s got a nice lower register, but he has absolutely no polish or any kind of professionalism to his performances. He doesn’t know what to do with his hands and his musical transitions are terrible. Other than that, he exudes personality, but that isn’t enough at this point.
9) Jason Pritchett – I’m no fan of this guy’s style at all. He reminds me of the cocky guys that get up there to sing karaoke and absolutely stink and then get mad when you tell them the truth about how bad they blew. It’s apparent that he can’t hear himself, because his crap was waaaaay out of tune and he had a look on his face like he was Brad Paisley or something. I hate this dude and hope he’s gone this week.
10) Sideswipe – Chippendales Karate back in full effect, except this time, they included annoying little kids to try and garner more votes from whoever votes for this kind of crap. I don’t like this kind of stuff, but there is some kind of talent there to do all those kicks and whatnot, I just am not entertained by it. Hopefully, they are smoke.

So at the end of the day, who will be gone? Sideswipe definitely, but I really think that Robert Hatcher might be the other odd man out, because he doesn’t have the appeal of Jason Pritchett, even though Jason sucks more.

As always, I welcome your feedback.
Mike