Another week of foolishness. Another wrap-up. Shade is served with a soda on the side.

But before I go there, I need to be serious. Oftentimes, we take for granted the preciousness of life. Every breath you take is a gift from The Creator. Don't forget to remind those around you how much they mean to you. And keep those who lost someone in the Blacksburg tragedy in your prayers, and close to your hearts.

You do have a heart, don't you? *Care Bear stare*

Moving forward.

Does the word "litigious" make you as hot as it makes me? Forget "Penis Power", whipping out your big, thick attorney is what really gets the girls all moist in the vasnooch!

• Des'ree got bolder and wiser and decided to sue Beyonce.
• J-Lo and her little goblin are suing the Enquirer.
• Biggie's family is suing the LAPD again.
• Damon Dash sued somebody too!

Here's counting the days until Gawker Media sues nOva for jacking its big, bitchy headline style.

This week, after being booed at a baseball game for being too pretty, Sanjaya finally left American Idol with little more than a whimper and a tolerable hurr-do. What's most distressing about the Sanjaya exit is that now AI can go back to fooling itself into thinking it's an honorable competition and the Dark Overlord of the Universe Paula Abdul can continue demanding the "good" Funyans on cheap, continental flights. Nihilists!

As a reward for his limited vocal prowess, Sanji was invited as a guest of People to the White House Correspondents’ Association gala dinner, bringing further credence to the adage, "The Real Terror is At Home." Sanjaya will be sorely missed by this blogger. Until his eagerly awaited album drops (and crashes to little pieces), I guess I'll have to catch him on the Pride circuit, performing under the drag name "Tyra Male".

The other big news this week involved seeing a grown-ass man squirm and stutter under the laser cat eyes of Oprah Winfrey and a bunch of pissed off sistahs. Sad Puppy, Kevin Liles, Dr. Benjamin Chavis, and Common appeared on the Oprah Show in response to the Imus fallout, and how some hip-hop music contributes to a culture of racism and misogyny. Sad Puppy defended rappers as "poets" from a life of poverty that want to reflect their struggles through their music. Umm, I've known a lot of poor people in my day, and not a one of them had the urge to pour champagne down the asscrack of some half-black/half-asian model. Sell drugs? Perhaps. Waste good liquor? Not so much.

To sort out some logic, I've compiled a list of things the "impoverished" might say to express their frustration:

• "Far as I know you a freak / a lil' nasty girl that shake her ass to the beat / Clap-clap, skeet-skeet / Is all I really wanna do but she don't come cheap" - Chingy
• "Some of these bitches be real the hard knock / Watchin gettin crunk they start they won´t stop / Hoes get naked for cheese they love that / Take the baddest bitch in the club, I fuck that / You fucked that? I fucked that, I fucked that / You fucked that? I fucked that, I fucked that." - The Ying Yang Twins
• "Bitch I'm paid, das all I gotta say / Cant see'ya lil niggas - da money's in da way / I'm sittin high, a gansta ride blazed / If you aint gonna ride fly den you may as well hate" - Lil' Wayne

Somebody put these guys in a Welfare-to-Work program quick! If charitable souls like us don't help these victims of the White Supremacist Power Structure, who will?

There would later be a private meeting between music executives to discuss solutions. They concluded that, instead of promoting lyrics that offended women, they would postpone the planned press conference and hope everyone forgets the whole thing. Well played, gentlemen!

Enjoy the weekend. And save some smoke for me.